For nearly a decade, Declan's life was measured in breaths, alarms, lab results, and the quiet, ordinary moments in between. He taught us what love looks like when it shows up at 1am, when it asks the hard questions, and when it finally has to let go. While he was on hospice for respiratory failure due to him fighting his interventions, Declan ultimately passed from a mucus plug that could have taken him with or without a trach.
This website exists because I refuse to let his story end with his death.
Declan was a fighter. He changed laws. He changed how doctors, nurses, prosecutors, schools and families think about fragile children and their duty to protect them. He taught us to slow down, to appreciate our differences, and to find humor and light between the struggles.
Declan deserves to be honored. To be remembered. I can think of no better way to do that than to tell his story. To help parents, clinicians, and advocates know that they are not alone, and to shine a light on this world.
If you are here as a parent, a medical professional, a student, a policymaker, or simply someone trying to understand such a powerful story, welcome. Declan changed us. I hope, in some small way, he changes you.
Just Breathe: When to Fight and When to Stop
A Mother's Journey Through Medicine, the Law, and Learning How to Let Go
I wrote a memoir. When your child’s life depends on medical interventions, love can look like fighting. Until it doesn’t. For nearly a decade, my husband and I fought to keep Declan alive—through ventilators, surgeries, hospitalizations, and the unimaginable discovery that one of his night nurses had been torturing him in our own home. But the hardest journey wasn’t the one to keep him alive or even navigating the aftermath of that crime. It was learning to recognize when saving him was causing more harm than good, and finding the courage to let go.
JUST BREATHE follows my transformation from an ambitious professional who believed life could be controlled through careful planning into a mother forced to confront the limits of medicine, advocacy, and love itself. The memoir exposes the collapsing systems surrounding medically complex children—pediatric home care, special education, and the medical establishment—and the ethical dilemma at the heart of Declan’s final year: When is prolonging life an act of love, and when is it an act of harm?
I am currently seeking literary representation for my book, and am actively working to bring it into the world.
Get in Touch
For speaking engagements, media inquiries, or to share your story, please reach out.
