The Book: Final Title TBD
I wrote a memoir. When your child’s life depends on medical interventions, love can look like fighting. Until it doesn’t. For nearly a decade, my husband and I fought to keep Declan alive—through ventilators, surgeries, hospitalizations, and the unimaginable discovery that one of his night nurses had been torturing him in our own home. But the hardest journey wasn’t the one to keep him alive or even navigating the aftermath of that crime. It was learning to recognize when saving him was causing more harm than good, and finding the courage to let go.
The book follows my transformation from an ambitious professional who believed life could be controlled through careful planning into a mother forced to confront the limits of medicine, advocacy, and love itself. The memoir exposes the collapsing systems surrounding medically complex children—pediatric home care, special education, and the medical establishment—and the ethical dilemma at the heart of Declan’s final year: When is prolonging life an act of love, and when is it an act of harm?
As a hospital ethics director who read the manuscript put it, there are very few voices that speak honestly about caring for medically complex children and the impossible treatment decisions parents face. The book will help both parents and clinicians understand that space.
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Publishing is a Process!
I’ve learned a lot about publishing since I started working to bring this book into the world. The biggest and most challenging lesson is that writing the manuscript is only the first step. After that, the process usually looks something like this:
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Developmental editing - a brutal process that takes a lot of time. At least for my book.
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Find an agent (which is difficult in itself). Agents work on commission, meaning they are only paid if your book sells. They receive thousands of submissions and take on enormous risk with each client they represent.
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Further develop the manuscript with your agent
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Your agent sells the book to a publisher
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You’re matched with an editor and go through additional rounds of editing
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The book cover and interior design are created
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Marketing, publicity, and speaking opportunities are planned
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The book is published
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And then the work of getting it into the world truly begins
To make things more complicated, the real path is rarely this linear. There is a lot of “wash, rinse, repeat” along the way.
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My most frequently asked question is:
When will your book be published, and what’s the status?
I created this page to keep you informed. And the honest answer right now is: I don’t know yet.
For a while, I thought I did. I had convinced myself that the subject matter was simply too heavy for traditional publishing and that self-publishing would be the only viable path. So I built a project plan and a timeline around that assumption.
Then something unexpected happened.
One of the agents I queried (publishing language for “reached out to, seeking representation”) responded with more than a standard form rejection. She sent a thoughtful, detailed email outlining real editorial feedback on how the manuscript could be shaped into something that she—or another agent—might be able to place in the market.
That kind of response is extremely rare, especially for memoir. Memoir is one of the most saturated and competitive genres in publishing. Agents simply don’t have the time to provide editorial critiques unless they see genuine potential. Her note was both humbling and encouraging. It told me that there is something real here—something worth refining.
So now I’m doing the work to honor that.
I’m in the process of working with an experienced developmental editor to help shape the manuscript. Even if I ultimately self-publish, I want this book to be the strongest version of itself. Declan’s story deserves that.
Once the revision process is complete (estimated completion of lat April or early May), I’ll re-query the agent who took the time to help me, along with a small number of others. From there, one of two things will happen:
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I’ll land an agent and pursue a traditional book deal, or
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I’ll move forward with self-publishing, equipped with a manuscript that has been professionally shaped.
As I learn more, I’ll keep this page updated.
I’m genuinely excited to see what this book can become. The bones are already there. The heart is already there. Declan’s story will remain truthful and intact. But if we can refine it, strengthen its pacing, and help it reach more people in a way that does justice to its message, then I’m all in.